Here is Ellie all dressed for her first night back at church. Enjoy!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Hopeful..
Hey friends,
Just wanted to give you a quick update on life around here! It's been less than calm. On Tuesday I managed to muster up the courage to get to women's Bible study. I made it safely, and Ellie was sooo good. She slept in my arms the whole time. The women all admired my "good" baby. That night, I bragged to my mom about how good Ellie is in the mornings (she had been that way the past couple of days, and since I am looking for ANY signs of relief these days, I was holding tightly to that idea.) Well, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were SOOO hard. I tried to tell myself it was irony and that she really would give her mom some relief soon. She would wake for her 5-ish a.m. feeding, and then refuse to sleep until about 12:30 when she would CRASH. Ben would get home from work and I would be crying, anxious, and soooo frustrated. I have tried to keep her on a good schedule, tried reading her cues (and have clearly been misreading them), and tried to meet her needs time and time again. But a sister has GOT to be able to get a shower in, right?
I started reading this book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer." It is a very realistic approach to caring for baby by viewing baby as a PERSON with felt needs and an ABILITY (not disability) to communicate them. She doesn't shun schedules or routine, but she does say that baby has something to say to you with every cry, and to respect that.
I haven't gotten through much of it yet, but already feel a bit refreshed and possessing a certain sense of humor about ellie's cries. (Rather than being utterly frantic!) I would already recommend this book to any mom who feels helpless. And I would recommend reading it before your baby is three weeks old. I haven't ruined her, I know, but I have realized I have been building some debilitating habits in her that I need to break.
Anyway, this is my world today. And the fact that I'm able to be writing this (while eating my banana with peanut butter because Ellie is napping in her crib), means that I am having small breakthroughs day by day. I'm learning this little girl. This has easily been the hardest month of my life, but I'm learning.
And more importantly, I have NEVER needed my Lord more than in these hours.
Love to whoever has read my ramblings.
Whit :)
Just wanted to give you a quick update on life around here! It's been less than calm. On Tuesday I managed to muster up the courage to get to women's Bible study. I made it safely, and Ellie was sooo good. She slept in my arms the whole time. The women all admired my "good" baby. That night, I bragged to my mom about how good Ellie is in the mornings (she had been that way the past couple of days, and since I am looking for ANY signs of relief these days, I was holding tightly to that idea.) Well, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were SOOO hard. I tried to tell myself it was irony and that she really would give her mom some relief soon. She would wake for her 5-ish a.m. feeding, and then refuse to sleep until about 12:30 when she would CRASH. Ben would get home from work and I would be crying, anxious, and soooo frustrated. I have tried to keep her on a good schedule, tried reading her cues (and have clearly been misreading them), and tried to meet her needs time and time again. But a sister has GOT to be able to get a shower in, right?
I started reading this book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer." It is a very realistic approach to caring for baby by viewing baby as a PERSON with felt needs and an ABILITY (not disability) to communicate them. She doesn't shun schedules or routine, but she does say that baby has something to say to you with every cry, and to respect that.
I haven't gotten through much of it yet, but already feel a bit refreshed and possessing a certain sense of humor about ellie's cries. (Rather than being utterly frantic!) I would already recommend this book to any mom who feels helpless. And I would recommend reading it before your baby is three weeks old. I haven't ruined her, I know, but I have realized I have been building some debilitating habits in her that I need to break.
Anyway, this is my world today. And the fact that I'm able to be writing this (while eating my banana with peanut butter because Ellie is napping in her crib), means that I am having small breakthroughs day by day. I'm learning this little girl. This has easily been the hardest month of my life, but I'm learning.
And more importantly, I have NEVER needed my Lord more than in these hours.
Love to whoever has read my ramblings.
Whit :)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The Middle of the Night at our House
This has been my life for the past umm...6 nights? I wouldn't change a thing. I am so so sooooo tired, and yet this little girl keeps her mama movin' on. I take one look at that sweet face that has yet to enjoy sleeping in her crib at night (days are fine, of course!), and fall so deeply in love all over again. I cannot describe how weak I feel to love her and nurture her when my body has nothing left. But I cling to the Lord's strength all the more as I know that he created this precious person. Everything about her is His. He's awake in the middle of the night at my house, loving me, nurturing me, and guarding me til morning. I am filled with awe at his goodness in our lives.
Someone please remind me of this when I forget!
Love,
The Sleepy Winklers
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Finally Hung Up Ellie's Mobile!
I'm hoping that this blog will be filled with pictures of my sweet girl oh so soon! On Tuesday it'll be two weeks til my due date! Yay! (Don't you know that ALL babies come on their due date?) haha. Wishful thinking.
Here are some pictures of Ellie's mobile finally hanging above her crib. :)
Thanks for being excited (or pretending you're excited?) about these small little details from our life!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Got in the Mood for Fall Today...Despite the 96 Degree Temps
I redecorated a bit! Here are some new fall pics for friends and family that I never get to host :( I thought to myself today...what if Ellie were to come early and I still had summer stuff up? I suppose it wouldn't be a tragedy, but I'll let the nesting bug be my excuse. :)
Monday, September 13, 2010
He Has Been Gentle With Me
Yesterday was supposed to be a relaxing Sunday with my sweet husband. For the most part it was. We enjoyed each other's company and worked a bit on organizing the house in preparation for Ellie. We even made scrambled eggs-- a luxury when I'm usually out of the house at 4:53 every morning.
But I had a breaking point. It was more than just your typical hormonal pregnancy breakdown, although I would have liked to chalk it up to that. It was weeks of built-up sin coming to a head. I was installing batteries into Ellie's bouncer seat, realizing that I had put it together all wrong in the first place, and attempting to unscrew screws and re-do what I had already spent a long time working on. I started feeling really hot, my butt was getting sore from sitting criss-cross applesauce for too long, and my ankles were as big as an elephant. I started crying, and telling Ben, "I am so frustrated that my body won't go at the pace it normally can. I am tired of being so swollen even after a "lazy" day around the house. And what if Ellie comes now and I won't be ready? The floors are so dusty and her car seat needs to be cleaned (it was a garage sale find)."
He quietly tried to calm me down, and said, "Whitney, even if she comes in an hour, she will have everything she needs." Those words did little to console me in that moment, because I was SO lost in my frustration and anxiety.
The Lord has been gentle with me this morning. He gave me a quiet morning to reflect on these anxieties. What exactly are they? Why do I have them? He showed me. I'll tell you briefly what I've been giving my worries and days to lately:
1.)I have been spending hours on my online vintage shop--a fun hobby yes, but a potentially destructive path to losing my identity in Christ. I set it up originally to make some extra money since I won't be working as much. But in actuality, it sometimes becomes the outlet for all of my fear that the Lord is not going to provide for us financially. When I wake up in the morning and don't have a new "sale," I am filled with a sense of loss of accomplishment and feelings that I don't have the gifting to help provide for our family from our home.
2.) I have been lost in a flurry of wanting our home to be perfect for Ellie. Really, perfect for me and my own desire for control. I spend hours frantically cleaning, organizing, and thinking about how its never good enough. There is always more dust on my baseboards and crumbs to be swept in the kitchen. And now we have ants in our pantry. This is WAY more devastating to me than it should be.
3.) I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself...for how I don't have friends or how I will be so sad raising Ellie so far from family. I am once again not trusting in the God who so clearly brought us to this little Kentucky town for a purpose much greater than mine.
4.) I have spent money and time making a new cd, because I want people to hear me. I want them to know I exist and hurt and have it together, all at the same time.
I could go on an on with my list of "Whitney" kingdoms. I've been spending all of my time building them. This morning they all let me down.
But I have a good, good God who has spoken softly to me today, in perhaps the only tone I have the strength to endure "For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights." -Proverbs 3:12
How beautiful of Him to speak to me in language I understand more these days than I ever have! As much as I love Ellie already, He delights in me THAT MUCH MORE! And he corrects me because of his DELIGHT...not because of his resentment. I am encouraged.
I am challenged. I am delighted in.
Praise the Lord for redeeming mornings like this one. And prayers that today will be the day that all my kingdoms, anxieties, and fears crumble.
But I had a breaking point. It was more than just your typical hormonal pregnancy breakdown, although I would have liked to chalk it up to that. It was weeks of built-up sin coming to a head. I was installing batteries into Ellie's bouncer seat, realizing that I had put it together all wrong in the first place, and attempting to unscrew screws and re-do what I had already spent a long time working on. I started feeling really hot, my butt was getting sore from sitting criss-cross applesauce for too long, and my ankles were as big as an elephant. I started crying, and telling Ben, "I am so frustrated that my body won't go at the pace it normally can. I am tired of being so swollen even after a "lazy" day around the house. And what if Ellie comes now and I won't be ready? The floors are so dusty and her car seat needs to be cleaned (it was a garage sale find)."
He quietly tried to calm me down, and said, "Whitney, even if she comes in an hour, she will have everything she needs." Those words did little to console me in that moment, because I was SO lost in my frustration and anxiety.
The Lord has been gentle with me this morning. He gave me a quiet morning to reflect on these anxieties. What exactly are they? Why do I have them? He showed me. I'll tell you briefly what I've been giving my worries and days to lately:
1.)I have been spending hours on my online vintage shop--a fun hobby yes, but a potentially destructive path to losing my identity in Christ. I set it up originally to make some extra money since I won't be working as much. But in actuality, it sometimes becomes the outlet for all of my fear that the Lord is not going to provide for us financially. When I wake up in the morning and don't have a new "sale," I am filled with a sense of loss of accomplishment and feelings that I don't have the gifting to help provide for our family from our home.
2.) I have been lost in a flurry of wanting our home to be perfect for Ellie. Really, perfect for me and my own desire for control. I spend hours frantically cleaning, organizing, and thinking about how its never good enough. There is always more dust on my baseboards and crumbs to be swept in the kitchen. And now we have ants in our pantry. This is WAY more devastating to me than it should be.
3.) I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself...for how I don't have friends or how I will be so sad raising Ellie so far from family. I am once again not trusting in the God who so clearly brought us to this little Kentucky town for a purpose much greater than mine.
4.) I have spent money and time making a new cd, because I want people to hear me. I want them to know I exist and hurt and have it together, all at the same time.
I could go on an on with my list of "Whitney" kingdoms. I've been spending all of my time building them. This morning they all let me down.
But I have a good, good God who has spoken softly to me today, in perhaps the only tone I have the strength to endure "For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights." -Proverbs 3:12
How beautiful of Him to speak to me in language I understand more these days than I ever have! As much as I love Ellie already, He delights in me THAT MUCH MORE! And he corrects me because of his DELIGHT...not because of his resentment. I am encouraged.
I am challenged. I am delighted in.
Praise the Lord for redeeming mornings like this one. And prayers that today will be the day that all my kingdoms, anxieties, and fears crumble.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)