A Photoshoot...Of Sorts

The Pretty Girl
The Sweet Girl
The Happy Girl


Shoot Gurrrl!
The Vogue Girl
The Innocent Girl
The "I'm Done With this Photo Shoot" Girl

Tummy Time!

Ellie's Stocking!

This is the stocking that Ellie's aunt Heidi (Ben's older sis) hand made for her! I just had to post it! I love it. It even has a little jingle bell on the toe. Heidi didn't even know that our stockings were red and white. I hope she knows that now she has to make matching ones for the rest of our kiddos. (Don't get any ideas...I'm hoping that is in QUITE a few years.)

Thanks, Heid!

Love, Whit

The little snuggle bean is gaining weight!

We had our follow up visit to the doc today...she has gained (drumroll please)...SEVEN ounces! AND a quarter of an inch to boot. The doctor said she is not worried about Ellie, which makes her mama so so happy. A friend of mine gave me some good advice this week, and told me to try waking Ellie up every four hours at night (she had been sleeping anywhere from 6-8 hours, and I wasn't super worried because she was getting all her daytime feedings in). I guess it worked! Ellie just needed a little bit more milk and wasn't waking herself up for it. The doctor said that by 2 months (which is in 2 weeks) she should be able to go all night without needing to be woken up. Praise Him!
We are still waiting to hear back about the heart stuff. I should hear back from the doctor this afternoon about that. But I have more of a peace now.
I'm just reminded of how good God is despite my worry. I have been asking him to fill me with joy and anticipation this advent season. This is really for two reasons: one because my heart NEEDS a prompting in longing for the Son of God, and two, because I need TRUTH to replace my fear and anxiety more than ever these days.

That's all for now, I guess. Thanks to all who are praying for my little blue-eyed girl. It means more to me than anything else I could think of.

Whit

An Update and Prayer Request

First, Merry Christmas Season to you! My mom wanted us to take a picture by the tree when she was down for Thanksgiving weekend. I had been in my jammies and no make up and Ben threw on a sweater. But hey! Ellie looks cute!!



Anyway,I just wanted to let you in on a bit of what has been going on lately. We are doing great overall, but I do have a couple of Ellie prayer requests. First, when Ellie was born, the doc heard a small heart murmur. She sent Ellie for an echocardiogram- translation: something that shows why there's a heart murmur. Anyway, Ellie has a tiny little hole in her heart that is causing the murmur. Our pediatrician wasn't too worried, and said that the hole will probably close on its own. Apparently about 30% of babies have this at birth. But to be on the safe side, she set us up with a pediatric cardiologist. We went to the appointment on Wednesday, hoping to hear that the hole had closed. The doc said that the hold is smaller but also noticed ANOTHER tiny hole, so we have to go back. He too thinks they will close, but it hurts me to have any little thing wrong with my baby-especially when I can't do anything about it.

AND, on top of that, Ellie has only gained a pound since birth. The doctor told us that she is below the normal range, and is now monitoring her to see if she gains weight (and if so, how much) within the next week. She didn't seem worried about this much, and just said that we will have to make adjustments if she is indeed slowed in her growth. I will let you know when I hear anything.

I just tell you these things to ask for prayer for peace of mind. It is VERY easy to let my mind run off about all of my worries-- is something seriously wrong with her heart? is there something wrong with my milk supply? why isn't my baby thriving? ...all of the questions. I don't want you to think that this is some horrible situation. I really have not been given much reason to worry by the doctors, and yet I do. The doctors have both seemed very optimistic, and our pediatrician said just today that despite her small weight gain, she is looking very healthy and great. Its just that.. She is our baby. I want to control her little life and I can't. I want her every fiber to be flawless and its not.
Pray that Ben and I give this wholly to the Lord, and be thankful to Him for our weakness and powerlessness, so that all glory might rest on HIM!

Thank you friends. Love to you all! Enjoy your December!

Put Me In, Coach!

Ellie Is One Month Old Today!

Happy Thanksgiving to all! When Ellie was born on October 25th, we realized that she would celebrate her 1 month anniversary on Thanksgiving and her 2 month anniversary on Christmas! We plan to take a picture of her next to this sweet teddy bear (that aunt Heidi got her) every month on the 25th, so we can see how she has grown!

We are so thankful for the blessing she is in our lives, and can already not fathom life without baby Adelle.

Lil' Miss Serious Might Be Turning a Corner

It happened in a flash, and of course I did not get a picture. But, I do think the little girl smiled for me this morning!!!

Here's hoping for many, many, mannny more of those sweet moments when I feel like she is acknowledging my existence!

This is the face I've been used to lately...a kind of "whoo are YOU and what do you think you're doing?" face..

Ellie's First Gaze at the Christmas Tree

Here's hoping that the Christmas lights will get us through some fussy nights. :)

First Real Bath!

Ellie's umbilical cord stump fell off yesterday, and so it was time for a bath in the tub! She really enjoyed it, despite the fact that she looks terrified in this picture. Hehe. You would have thought we were TORTURING her with those sponge baths we have been giving her!

Off to Church!

Here is Ellie all dressed for her first night back at church. Enjoy!

Hopeful..

Hey friends,
Just wanted to give you a quick update on life around here! It's been less than calm. On Tuesday I managed to muster up the courage to get to women's Bible study. I made it safely, and Ellie was sooo good. She slept in my arms the whole time. The women all admired my "good" baby. That night, I bragged to my mom about how good Ellie is in the mornings (she had been that way the past couple of days, and since I am looking for ANY signs of relief these days, I was holding tightly to that idea.) Well, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were SOOO hard. I tried to tell myself it was irony and that she really would give her mom some relief soon. She would wake for her 5-ish a.m. feeding, and then refuse to sleep until about 12:30 when she would CRASH. Ben would get home from work and I would be crying, anxious, and soooo frustrated. I have tried to keep her on a good schedule, tried reading her cues (and have clearly been misreading them), and tried to meet her needs time and time again. But a sister has GOT to be able to get a shower in, right?
I started reading this book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer." It is a very realistic approach to caring for baby by viewing baby as a PERSON with felt needs and an ABILITY (not disability) to communicate them. She doesn't shun schedules or routine, but she does say that baby has something to say to you with every cry, and to respect that.
I haven't gotten through much of it yet, but already feel a bit refreshed and possessing a certain sense of humor about ellie's cries. (Rather than being utterly frantic!) I would already recommend this book to any mom who feels helpless. And I would recommend reading it before your baby is three weeks old. I haven't ruined her, I know, but I have realized I have been building some debilitating habits in her that I need to break.
Anyway, this is my world today. And the fact that I'm able to be writing this (while eating my banana with peanut butter because Ellie is napping in her crib), means that I am having small breakthroughs day by day. I'm learning this little girl. This has easily been the hardest month of my life, but I'm learning.
And more importantly, I have NEVER needed my Lord more than in these hours.

Love to whoever has read my ramblings.

Whit :)

The Middle of the Night at our House

This has been my life for the past umm...6 nights? I wouldn't change a thing. I am so so sooooo tired, and yet this little girl keeps her mama movin' on. I take one look at that sweet face that has yet to enjoy sleeping in her crib at night (days are fine, of course!), and fall so deeply in love all over again. I cannot describe how weak I feel to love her and nurture her when my body has nothing left. But I cling to the Lord's strength all the more as I know that he created this precious person. Everything about her is His. He's awake in the middle of the night at my house, loving me, nurturing me, and guarding me til morning. I am filled with awe at his goodness in our lives.

Someone please remind me of this when I forget!

Love,
The Sleepy Winklers

Finally Hung Up Ellie's Mobile!

I'm hoping that this blog will be filled with pictures of my sweet girl oh so soon! On Tuesday it'll be two weeks til my due date! Yay! (Don't you know that ALL babies come on their due date?) haha. Wishful thinking.
Here are some pictures of Ellie's mobile finally hanging above her crib. :)
Thanks for being excited (or pretending you're excited?) about these small little details from our life!

Got in the Mood for Fall Today...Despite the 96 Degree Temps

I redecorated a bit! Here are some new fall pics for friends and family that I never get to host :( I thought to myself today...what if Ellie were to come early and I still had summer stuff up? I suppose it wouldn't be a tragedy, but I'll let the nesting bug be my excuse. :)

He Has Been Gentle With Me

Yesterday was supposed to be a relaxing Sunday with my sweet husband. For the most part it was. We enjoyed each other's company and worked a bit on organizing the house in preparation for Ellie. We even made scrambled eggs-- a luxury when I'm usually out of the house at 4:53 every morning.
But I had a breaking point. It was more than just your typical hormonal pregnancy breakdown, although I would have liked to chalk it up to that. It was weeks of built-up sin coming to a head. I was installing batteries into Ellie's bouncer seat, realizing that I had put it together all wrong in the first place, and attempting to unscrew screws and re-do what I had already spent a long time working on. I started feeling really hot, my butt was getting sore from sitting criss-cross applesauce for too long, and my ankles were as big as an elephant. I started crying, and telling Ben, "I am so frustrated that my body won't go at the pace it normally can. I am tired of being so swollen even after a "lazy" day around the house. And what if Ellie comes now and I won't be ready? The floors are so dusty and her car seat needs to be cleaned (it was a garage sale find)."
He quietly tried to calm me down, and said, "Whitney, even if she comes in an hour, she will have everything she needs." Those words did little to console me in that moment, because I was SO lost in my frustration and anxiety.

The Lord has been gentle with me this morning. He gave me a quiet morning to reflect on these anxieties. What exactly are they? Why do I have them? He showed me. I'll tell you briefly what I've been giving my worries and days to lately:

1.)I have been spending hours on my online vintage shop--a fun hobby yes, but a potentially destructive path to losing my identity in Christ. I set it up originally to make some extra money since I won't be working as much. But in actuality, it sometimes becomes the outlet for all of my fear that the Lord is not going to provide for us financially. When I wake up in the morning and don't have a new "sale," I am filled with a sense of loss of accomplishment and feelings that I don't have the gifting to help provide for our family from our home.
2.) I have been lost in a flurry of wanting our home to be perfect for Ellie. Really, perfect for me and my own desire for control. I spend hours frantically cleaning, organizing, and thinking about how its never good enough. There is always more dust on my baseboards and crumbs to be swept in the kitchen. And now we have ants in our pantry. This is WAY more devastating to me than it should be.
3.) I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself...for how I don't have friends or how I will be so sad raising Ellie so far from family. I am once again not trusting in the God who so clearly brought us to this little Kentucky town for a purpose much greater than mine.
4.) I have spent money and time making a new cd, because I want people to hear me. I want them to know I exist and hurt and have it together, all at the same time.

I could go on an on with my list of "Whitney" kingdoms. I've been spending all of my time building them. This morning they all let me down.
But I have a good, good God who has spoken softly to me today, in perhaps the only tone I have the strength to endure "For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights." -Proverbs 3:12

How beautiful of Him to speak to me in language I understand more these days than I ever have! As much as I love Ellie already, He delights in me THAT MUCH MORE! And he corrects me because of his DELIGHT...not because of his resentment. I am encouraged.
I am challenged. I am delighted in.

Praise the Lord for redeeming mornings like this one. And prayers that today will be the day that all my kingdoms, anxieties, and fears crumble.

My Baby is a Lil Mover and a Shaker...

Here I go...and with the PERFECT first post....

A dear friend of mine, Kirra encourages me to blog whenever we talk. She is so, so good at it and at keeping in touch with the world, and with her California family from so far away. But I always give her excuses about why I can't do it. "But, I'm not a good writer (which I still am not)," or, "I don't know how to make it look cute like you do." Well, she helped me get stated by creating this little blog for me to share stories and pictures about our lives here in Kentucky. Thank you, Kirra! I'm excited and nervous. I really don't know why I'm nervous, because no one is cracking the whip for me to stay up with this or anything. I just know I need to keep up with it, because I have sweet friends and family that will miss out on the subtle nuances of Ellie's life when she comes. So, when life gets really busy coming up reeeeeallly soon, I hope I can at least give you all glimpses of my sweet girl on this blog. I hope. :)

And speaking of Kirra--one more thing! Kirra has just started her very own business! Lovies is a sweet, sweet online antique shop, and Kirra has a GIFT for finding antiquing that few people have! Check it out if you haven't...or even if you have!

www.lovies.bigcartel.com

Here's to a new blogging adventure for me, and a new creative business venture for Kirra!

A Request

Dear Whittie,

Here's the thing.

You're there.

I'm here.

And I think that's just a little sad. I'm not asking you to be a Queen at Blogging. I'm just asking for a few pics here and there of your sweet life in KY with your awesome hubby & adorable growing baby girl. Too much to ask? I don't think so. Plus I know at least a hundred other people would like to have that same priviledge! So here it is girl, your new & fresh bloggie. Keep it up, and you'll be surprised by how fun it is to document everyday life!

I love you too much.
K.