A few friends have been interested in hearing my story of labor and delivery, and one friend in particular advised me to write it down before I forget all of the details. So this is kind of for my own memory, and kind of for those who'd like to hear. I'm amazed at how much has already slipped my mind, and has been replaced with diapers, baby smiles, and spit up.
So, for those of you uninterested in contractions and dialation, I will not be upset (nor will I ever know) if you choose to navigate away from this page. :)
Let me just start off by saying that we were prepared. I like to plan ahead. I like to have my ducks in a row. And I knew what I wanted, so why not?
I have pretty much always wanted to have a natural labor and delivery. I just truly wanted to experience it. It's a part of humanity that we miss out on in some aspects (of course not all aspects!) with all of the interventions. I don't think it should be experienced simply for the purpose of the mother's pride, similar to that of getting through an athletic event. Sure, it is that, but I believe it is so much more. It is experiencing to the fullest, God's chosen way of bringing life to his created people, curse and all. Women get to experience the pain AND privilege of being a part of this. Not to mention, it is what is best for the baby's health in most situations. Add to this the fact that I am horrified of needles and spines, and you've got a winning combination for a drug free delivery!
Don't get me wrong- I'm not anti-intervention. It has saved lives, and is there when we truly need it.
We started out early in my pregnancy looking for support to help make this natural labor thing happen. We knew we wanted to do the Bradley Method. However, there weren't any classes in Bowling Green for us to take. We would have to drive an hour, and with our work schedules, we just couldn't swing it. I began feeling kind of alone in my quest. We read the Bradley books on our own. However, I knew I would need more knowledge and support. Anyway, we ended up finding a doula (a support coach- not medically trained, but trained in giving help in labor to find alternative pain management strategies, emotional support, and to be a liaison of sorts.) Heather was my doula. We met with her throughout the pregnancy, and she was present throughout my labor as well. I totally recommend this method of support for anyone interested in this type of labor.
I started having painful labor contractions on Thursday night October the 21st. We thought for sure by Friday I would have the baby, since my mom and sister both had 6-8 hours of labor each. I just kind of assumed I'd be in that range. Well, lets just say it was a bit longer!
Little did I know that my contractions wouldn't stop for four days. Sure, I'd get a 20 minute break here and there. They would get to five minutes apart or even less, but then spread out to 20 minutes apart. We knew I was in labor because, well, they hurt, and they just weren't stopping. This happened all of Thursday night, all of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Heather came and went three different times. She did everything to help naturally induce my labor. We even walked stadium steps (scaling them 2 at a time) to get the contractions closer. The nights were very hard because I couldn't get good rest. Thurs, Fri, and Sat. night, I would be able to sleep (intermittently) until about 3 am, and then I'd be up for the day. The contractions hurt too much lying down, and I had few coping methods in bed. We were looking for them to get to about 4 minutes apart, and more importanly STAY there for about 2 hours before we'd head into the hospital. We knew that the hospital would induce my contractions since I was indeed in labor, but we also knew that the drug would make my contractions almost unbearable. So, we chose to wait it out. Saturday morning I really wanted to go in just to get checked to make sure Adelle wasn't in any real distress. I would never want to put my baby through trauma just to have a "natural" labor, so this was very important to me. They put me on the monitor and said that everything looked perfect, that I was in labor, and that I needed to go home if I didn't want Pitocin.
Finally, finally... Sunday night they were coming so close and strong all night that neither one of us got ANY sleep. Heather had gone home Sunday afternoon. I finally called her at 5 o'clock Monday morning and told her to meet me at the hospital. Honestly, I had been in so much pain for so long that I was ready for anything that would speed the process along. I was beyond exhausted, and I hadn't begun what would be the worst of it.
We were admitted Monday morning at 5:30 am.
When I was admitted, I was at 3 cm..almost 4. This is ABSURD, considering I'd been in labor for over 3 days at this point. I kept feeling so frustrated. What was wrong or different with me? Even the books all say that a slow labor is considered to be over 12 hours! I had long since passed that. We were hopeful that since the contractions were much more severe, things would speed up. For most of the morning my contractions were about 4 minutes apart and STRONG. They would come in and check me every two hours or so, and I was finally dilating, although still like a turtle.
I labored nine hours, and checked in twice at 6 cm (meaning I hadn't moved in 4 hours!!) At that point i was so emotionally and physically exhausted that I was sleeping in between contractions STANDING UP! I knew that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. I also knew that the hospital puts you on an imaginary clock once you get there. If you aren't progressing fast enough, you have got to take drugs to speed it up, or it will result in C-Section, which I REALLY didn't want.
I finally made the choice to get an epidural at 2 pm, after nine hours of hospital labor. My water broke right before the epidural at 6 centimeters. It was a really hard decision. I struggled with feelings that I had "failed" somehow. Was all my planning and prayer in vain? Why in the world would it take so long? Would she ever come? What was wrong with me? My doula and Ben were very reassuring. "Every labor story is different. You can plan, but you can't really plan."
I went on to labor ELEVEN more hours. My contractions kept stalling. They finally gave me pitocin to speed my labor because, lets be honest, I was nearing C Section time with my "failure to progress." Pitocin made my contractions about every 2 minutes and OFF the charts. We thought for sure I was dilating. I had to be, right?
My wonderful doctor came in to see me at 6pm when office hours were over, and I was at an 8. He said, with a smile, "looks like we will have a baby in a few hours. I'll be back." I felt hopeful. Even with the pain medication, I was still in tears from exhaustion. I couldn't think clearly. The hours went on, and we watched my contractions on the monitor come so close and fast. Still very hopeful.
He came back at 11 pm, having not heard from the nurses. He checked me again, and I was....still.... at a nine. This was probably one of the most discouraging points. At that point he sounded really skeptical on a normal delivery. However, as a last resort, he wanted me to try to push her out at 9.
Well, I did. 45 minutes later I had Ellie, on Monday night at 11:42 pm. I am not sure if my body would have ever dialated to 10. If I hadn't been able to push her, I would have had a C Section. He said he didn't know why the baby came so slowly. All he could say was, "every labor is different." I am still not quite sure I am satisfied with that answer. :)
Looking back, I am so thankful for everyone's prayers. A dear friend of mine told me she had been praying for wisdom; wisdom to take what I needed if I needed it. Wisdom to see beyond a "failed" attempt, and to do what was right for Ellie and I. I'm so thankful for that prayer. Even though it went nothing like I wanted, I still was able to have intervention when I desperately needed it. Thank God for that! I had a husband and doula that helped give me the support I needed, and the bravery to help me say enough is enough. Also, I didn't have to have a C Section ( I equate that to a very wonderfully unconventional doctor), and the Lord kept Ellie out of distress after 4 days of contractions (I equate that to a God who loves her so wonderfully). I truly have so many reasons to be thankful. And the best part- I'd do it all over again in the same exact way to have the little girl sleeping in the next room.
I would give this advice to anyone who plans on having a baby someday: Prepare for it to go how you want it to go. Dream about what you want it to be like. Pray for a beautiful labor, and a healthy baby. Pray for wisdom. And know that every labor truly is different.
That's my story, and Ellie's beginning. :)
