Hey friends,
Just wanted to give you a quick update on life around here! It's been less than calm. On Tuesday I managed to muster up the courage to get to women's Bible study. I made it safely, and Ellie was sooo good. She slept in my arms the whole time. The women all admired my "good" baby. That night, I bragged to my mom about how good Ellie is in the mornings (she had been that way the past couple of days, and since I am looking for ANY signs of relief these days, I was holding tightly to that idea.) Well, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were SOOO hard. I tried to tell myself it was irony and that she really would give her mom some relief soon. She would wake for her 5-ish a.m. feeding, and then refuse to sleep until about 12:30 when she would CRASH. Ben would get home from work and I would be crying, anxious, and soooo frustrated. I have tried to keep her on a good schedule, tried reading her cues (and have clearly been misreading them), and tried to meet her needs time and time again. But a sister has GOT to be able to get a shower in, right?
I started reading this book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer." It is a very realistic approach to caring for baby by viewing baby as a PERSON with felt needs and an ABILITY (not disability) to communicate them. She doesn't shun schedules or routine, but she does say that baby has something to say to you with every cry, and to respect that.
I haven't gotten through much of it yet, but already feel a bit refreshed and possessing a certain sense of humor about ellie's cries. (Rather than being utterly frantic!) I would already recommend this book to any mom who feels helpless. And I would recommend reading it before your baby is three weeks old. I haven't ruined her, I know, but I have realized I have been building some debilitating habits in her that I need to break.
Anyway, this is my world today. And the fact that I'm able to be writing this (while eating my banana with peanut butter because Ellie is napping in her crib), means that I am having small breakthroughs day by day. I'm learning this little girl. This has easily been the hardest month of my life, but I'm learning.
And more importantly, I have NEVER needed my Lord more than in these hours.
Love to whoever has read my ramblings.
Whit :)
1 comment:
Oh Whit, my heart just breaks hearing all you and Ben have been going through. Goodness, you'd think there would be a book or something that had babies all figured out by now! I wish that I could be there to help you in some way, but I know, as you have said, that the Lord has you right where He wants you- clinging to Him! But it's still hard, I can only imagine. My heart goes out to you and I will continue to be fervent in praying for you. Love, La
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